Monday, March 31, 2014

Shave Your Legs

As incentive to finally shave your legs, I suggest shopping for some shorts.
And when you see an overpriced pair of cutoffs and that wonderful realization "I could make this at home, easy" comes into your wonderful brain, that is your cue. Go forth and DIY your little heart out.

But please. Heed my warnings. Here are seven lessons I learned firsthand last summer while making a few too many of my own cutoffs. Seriously, too many to justify making any more this year. So I'm going to live vicariously through the rest of you.

So here. Warnings. Heed them.

1.Typically at thrift stores, there are already hella denim shorts that are being overlooked, maybe because of their awkward lengths or maybe because they have those weird loop things that boys at my elementary school had on their jeans. Those neglected shorts are always cheaper than buying actual pants, because ya know, less fabric and stuff. 

2. Bigger is better. In the event that the waist is entirely too big, hike them way up past your belly button and throw a belt around that sucker. Don't believe me?
Trust me, you're going to be seeing this more. I'm calling it right now.

3. Leave room for rolling up. Rolling up is good. Wedgies are not.

4. Cut at an angle, where the part closest to the crotch is longer than the part on the outside of your thigh.


5. Bleaching stuff is awesome. Sometimes jeans don't know what color they want to be--light or dark. Decide for them: Light. Follow the directions on the bottle of bleach, dry them, repeat if necessary. 

6. Scuffing stuff up is also awesome. Take the edge of something sharp (scissors, a razor blade, whatever, just be careful dearies!) and rub it along the edges of pockets. Also: the edges of your shorts where you cut will fray, do not fret. But if you need them looking frayed like, now, throw them in the dryer. 

7. Adding stuff (lace? Studs? 14-karat diamonds?) is cool times three.

Well, there you have it.
Go forth, my children, and leave a path of denim scraps in your wake.

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